Back together again

So the summer is winding down and it is so nice to have all my children home. Remy came home less than two weeks ago and Jackie came home this past Thursday.Originally Jackie was going to stay at my in-laws until the end of September, but she was so homesick and I was spending all morning on Skype or FaceTime that we decided it would be best for her to come back sooner. My mother came to visit the same day Remy and Jenny flew in and spent the week with us. She left the morning that Jackie and my in-laws arrived to spend the weekend with us. It was nice having family visit and made for a nice transition from the two babies back to four kids.

Jackie celebrated her third birthday in Long Island and it's a tiny bit better having a three-year-old Jackie vs. a two-year-old Jackie. She listens, speaks and understands a little bit better. I think she gave my in-laws a run for their money over the past 6 weeks. One day I'll have to write a book about the misadventures of Baby Jackie because she always manages to get into something. It is very hard not to compare your children to each other, but it happens. Jackie unfortunately follows behind Remy, who at her age was a dream child he hardly caused any mischief. Jackie, however, prefers to march to the beat of her own drum. She is a very determined and independent person who thinks that "no" means do it when your back is turned. So, I found it extremely comical when I would talk to my in-laws and hear all about how bad Baby Jackie was, at least now they know I don't make these things up. However, now that I've had a break I'm so happy to have my daughter home! She follows me everywhere and even though I still don't understand 50% of the stuff she says, she talks so much better. Her personality lights up the room. We're hoping to get her in gymnastics this September, because as my best friend Tia says, "Everyone wants to be Gabby Douglas." But seriously, Jackie is a ball of energy and I'm tired of her jumping and climbing on everything. I'm afraid she's gonna break her neck following behind Remy.

Remy got his tonsils and adenoids out this past Friday and he was such a champ. He was so nervous about getting it done the week before the procedure and kept asking me if he was going to die (I remember being obsessed with the fear of dying or one of my loved ones dying when I was about the same age.) I felt so bad watching him fight back tears and put a smile on. But of course when they read the forms to you they have to mention that death is a possibility, and in my head I'm thinking "great, Remy is sitting right there." However, the neat thing was they offered tours of the center which we did and was great at easing his fear, and he was great on the day of surgery. I won't lie, after hearing about the healing process and worse case scenarios I know that I do not ever want to have that done. I can't even look in the back of his mouth, but I just keep telling him how good he's doing and it's ok. But the people were great and Remy did well, but I will be glad once he is all healed. There were some smaller kids there that got the same thing done and they woke up screaming and crying it was so sad. I was glad that Remy only shed a few tears and slept most of the time. And all I was thinking was great I will probably get to go through this all over again with Jackie and Zane.

It was nice having time alone with Zane and Zander without the big kids. It's neat watching their little personalities emerge and develop. What's crazy is Zane is turning out to be more like how Remy was at that age and Zander is more like how Jackie was. Zander still refuses to walk, I'll give him to 15 months before I see of he will benefit from occupational therapy. He's still smaller than Zane but he terrorizes him by taking stuff, from toys to his blankie (they have the exact same one mind you and they won't sleep without them) and making him scream and cry. It's very annoying. It's always the littlest one that causes the most trouble. Don't get me wrong Zane is not all innocent either. His thing is throwing toys and 60% of the time Zander is in the direct path of whatever Zane can reach. If I give one a sippy cup or a cracker it only takes about 5 seconds before they start behaving like the Hunger Games. They will push each other and pull hair to get what the other has. As mean as they can be to each other they are also equally kind. Zane will share his broccoli with Zander and Zander will give him carrots. They make each other laugh which is really cute. Lately Zane has become extremely clingy and wants to be held all the time and he's the heaviest one. Who would have thought that doing the flex arm hang in middle school was really to prepare me for holding babies all day.

I won't lie, I was very nervous to have all four children home. I'm entering into a whole new phase of parenting and saying goodbye to the baby stage, it's a little intimidating. Remy will be starting first grade this September and I'm hoping that he has a good year. He is working on being a master at talking back, which triggers my inner Homer Simpson, so we will definitely be working on manners. I'm hoping that he doesn't have too many issues with his asthma and vomiting (yeah, I have one of those kids that vomits at the drop of a dime... most annoying thing in the world. I no longer carry a purse, but a  Mary Poppins bag. Sometimes I feel like Macgyver, give me a plastic bag and some baby wipes and I can do/create almost anything. So anyway, everyone one is home and I don't think I could be any happier. There's a completeness having everyone together. Our goals for the rest of the year are getting Remy focused back on his speech and not talking about how bad baby Jackie is in front of her, I wouldn't want that to be an adjective that she associates herself with. It's been a whirlwind of a summer and I think those are simple enough tasks, yet I'm sure it will still be a challenge on my patience to no end. Thank God for summer vacations and grandparents I'm now recharged for the up coming school year.

I'm just saying...

I have to write this post because it just keeps happening to me.

Okay, let me give you the run down. During the week my typical day starts between 7-7:30am when the little boys wake up (I don't count when Jackie wakes up at 5am because Bryan usually deals with her). I have enough time to use the bathroom, but that doesn't always mean time to brush my teeth. Then I'm changing diapers, nursing babies and making breakfast. While breakfast is cooking I'm letting out the dog and feeding both the dog and the cats. While all of this is going on I'm making sure the babies and Jackie stay out of trouble, and that Remy is up and getting ready for school. Then I get Remy fed and out the door. It is now 8:30am and time to feed the twins. It usually takes me about 30 minutes to feed and clean up the twins sometimes longer depending on what they eat, so now it's 9am. If I'm lucky my breakfast is still hot when I eat it. Usually around the time that I'm done eating Jackie is hungry and wants a snack.

So yes, even though I have been up for two hours that doesn't mean I'm "dressed."

As you all know it's been a very hot summer (and even spring) and we have no central air, so my pajamas consist of booty shorts and a tank top, sometimes it may be yoga pants or leggings and a t-shirt, but even still... If I don't have time to brush my teeth that usually means I haven't had time to comb my hair, which for me as a black woman with natural hair, well... you get the picture. Should I also mention that sometimes I'm not wearing a bra, or is that too much information? Let's also not forget that I've breastfed 4 babies and I'm over the age of 30 so things definitely do not look the same as when I was 20. (I don't mean to give such an unsettling image, but in order for you to fully understand the horror, I've got to be honest, right?)

So, that's what I look like in the morning (and sometimes the afternoon on days where I don't have work, LOL) now let me give you a visual of the kids. Jackie is usually only in panties, if I'm lucky an over-sized t-shirt (she loves to were mine and Remy's old shirts) if I'm not lucky she will appear naked and I'll have to trick her back into clothes. She may or may not have a messy face, she usually always has messy hair, since she hates to have anything in her hair), and sometimes she may have pen, marker, or stickers some where on her body. The little boys maybe either in just a shirt and diaper or just a diaper. They may or may not have a messy face and hands, and they may or may not be screaming and crying. Let's not forget the dog, who is usually following a baby cleaning up fallen crumbs.

I'll say it's now around 10am and just before I can get the chaos under control, there comes a knock on the door. In my head I'm thinking, "Really?!, Ugh!" Now, let me give you a visual of what it looks like when I open the door.


When there is a knock on the door Bella gives 1-2 very loud barks and runs to the door. At this point there is nothing I can do about anything, sometimes I try to fix my pony tail and make sure my boobs aren't hanging but both of those things are usually pointless now. I open the door while telling Bella to back up, but I guess this is when she pleads her senior citizen status and runs out to sniff whoever knocked. While I'm apologizing for the dog Jackie makes an appearance followed by both babies. As I'm trying to pay attention to the person at the door I'm also trying to make sure the kids don't escape. I end up with a baby on one hip and holding the others hand, that's when the smell hits me and I realize that someone has a poopy diaper. As I'm standing at the door looking a hot mess and my kids looking like no one loves them I'm hoping that the baby I'm holding doesn't pull my shirt down and that this stranger would hurry up and get to the point so that I can politely say, "I'm sorry but we have 4 children and currently have no money for whatever it is you are selling."

This happens to me about once a week and some of you are probably thinking how come you haven't learned, but guess what? I have learned. I've learned to own it! If you don't want to see me in all my morning glory then don't knock on my door before 1pm. If you see a minivan in someone's driveway and you're knocking at their door then chances are high that they have small children and don't have time to talk about magazine subscriptions. I don't know about everyone else, but my kids in the morning are busy and I don't have time to waste!

Summer Vacation!!

So, I am extremely grateful for my in-laws! The countdown to my summer vacation has started!!! And I'm not referring to the kids, but MINE! In less than a week Remy and Jackie will be in Long Island for 4 weeks.  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I just really need a break! And it just so works out that my in-laws love having the kids visit.

Every summer after Remy's first year he's gone to his grandparents. He loves it, of course. Jackie went her first time when I was pregnant with the twins last year (and I felt so bad because she was so little), but of course she loved it. So now this will be the first time that the two of them will be going together and I think I'm more excited than the kids!

I don't think my in-laws know what they are getting into with those two. Siblings have such a neat relationship where they bicker about everything! I now have a greater respect for my mother raising four kids on her own, because thank God I have Bryan to help keep control! It will be nice to not have to hear any arguing for a few weeks.

So yeah, even though I'm sick of hearing "when are we going to grandma and grandpa's?" over and over everyday, it will all be worth it in the end. I know they are counting down, "But guess what kids?! I'm counting down too!!"

I'm looking forward to enjoying time with the little boys. They are at such a great age where they are still cute because: they can't talk back, they wear whatever you put on them, they don't ask for stuff when you go to the store, they still take naps, they don't care if you watch adult tv, they go to bed on time, they eat everything, and they don't care if plans fall through.

I also have a long list of things that I want to do or that I will be able to, if I so choose, while the big kids are gone. For starters I will be able to do yoga without kids running circles around me, crawling under my downward dog or asking me questions. I will be able to go for a nice walk while Bry is at work without being a magician (if there is a way to enjoy a walk with four little kids and a dog without yelling, getting frustrated, stopping every 2 feet, giving pep talks that we are almost there, then someone please let me know.) I can go shopping and not have to remind anyone that they are not getting anything, even if they have their own money. I can throw toys away without someone crying or taking it back out of the trash. I can paint the bathroom and know that no one will get in my paint.  Anyway, the list is long.

Some of you may be thinking, "Hey lady, you still have two babies." And my answer, " going from 4 kids 6 and under to two 1-yr-olds is like a walk in the park." After a year with four (and it's been a rough year), I'm confident that I will be just fine with two little babies.So yeah, 6 days till summer vacation!

Let me count the ways...

Disciplining children is the worst. I'm a firm believer that all children need boundaries and for each family it's different. And since children are all different sometimes techniques need to be tweaked. I've done everything from time-outs, spankings, threats and taking away toys and/or privileges depending on what the bad behavior was. To be perfectly honest what works best for my kids right now are threats (which I will follow through on if I have to) and taking away toys/privileges. I will use time-outs, which is a corner for Jackie and for Remy it's usually sending him to his room. Spankings are my last resort and it's mostly two to four swats on the bottom, I don't do this very often and like I said it's the very last thing I try.

Anyway, I think I can count on one hand how many times my mom spanked me growing up. I mostly remember getting "the look," and being sent to my room. I'm not saying my mom didn't do other things, but I don't remember if she did. She had a very gentle way about her when it came to us kids. I'm working on having "the look," but I still have a long way to go because sometimes I still find myself hiding a smile. Which leaves me mostly with threats, I must say that I think I've become a pro at finding out what my kids want/like the most and using that to my advantage.

 Example:
When it's bed time, it's bed time. Both of my kids like to sleep with the light on and Jackie also likes her door open. If she makes a big fuss and cries about going to bed then I threaten to turn off the light and/or close her door. I give her roughly three times before I actually do one or both. It goes something like this: "Do you want your door open?" "Yes." "Well then no more crying or mommy will close the door." It may take a few tries but for the most part this works wonders. I did the same thing when Remy was little.

There is always something that I can use on my kids. I've packed up legos, toy trains, tvs  and anything else that was a favorite at the time. Taken away trips to museums, parks and movies. And trust me this works, it can be an inconvenience, but it does work.

Here is a list of some of the threats that Bryan and I have used (I'll let you guess who used what):

• Pick up the toys or no more Barney.
• If I have to pick up your toys then I'm gonna throw them away.
• If you don't let me wash you up I'm gonna turn off the water (during a shower)
• If you want me to read you a story then you better stop crying.
• Alright no Christmas because you're being bad.
• Do you want bubbles in your bath? 
• Do you wanna go to bed?

The power of a good theme song

When I was a kid there was nothing better than cartoons and the best part for me was always the theme song. Even as an adult I can think back and recall almost every word to some of my favorites- Jem, Thundercats, Captain Planet and of course there are some that I would rather not admit to watching- even today I'm a sucker for a good opening song.

Like most children my kids love cartoons and they each have their favorites. Some of Remy's current favorites are Phineas and Ferb, Spongebob and Luney Toons he usually doesn't sing or dance along but he does bop his head and get upset of Bryan fast forwards the intro. And then there is Jackie... Have you ever had a favorite song that you listened to over and over and over and it still never got old? Well, that's how Jackie is when she finds a new favorite show and the thing that always drags her in is the theme song.

This past year has been interesting watching Jackie develop her likes and dislikes and she is persistent in making it known. We ended last summer with her addicted to Barney the Dinosaur, which thanks to netflix we could set her up on the computer to watch. That obsession lasted until December and I must say was one of the worst. Next is Little Einsteins, which I personally don't mind and she's so cute singing and dancing along. Then Bubble Guppies which I can also tolerate. But the latest and probably the most annoying on is Team Umizumi. It's not the show itself that is annoying, but Jackie's obsession with it. She could be hanging out with me and the babies in their room and hear that song and her face lights up and she runs away shouting "zumi, zumi." Which that's ok and kind of cute, but what isn't is being woken up at 5am with her turning on the light in my room and hoovering over me waving the remote control saying "zumi, zumi." What is also not funny is being interrupted feeding the babies by bloody murder type screaming because Remy has changed the channel to something other than Umizumi. Last on my list of why I can't stand her obsession with this show is if I say you can watch your show later after I watch something I don't need you reminding me on every commercial break that you're ready to watch Umizumi.

There is two things I blame for this one, the theme song. From the moment she heard that song she was hooked. And second, I blame Bryan. He was the one that introduced her to the show and now he's created a monster. If only I could get her interested in My Little Ponies (*sigh*).

"Why?"

Jackie has hit the "why?" stage and it's so very annoying yet oh so cute. So far it's not as bad as when Remy went through because her whys are easy to explain.
Examples:
-Jackie take your finger out of your nose.
-Why?
- Because it's nasty.

-Jackie it's time for bed.
-Why?
-Because everybody has to go to bed at some point.

-Jackie get down.
-Why?
-Because you can fall and hurt yourself.

Remy's why stage didn't hit until he was three, now granted he really didn't start talking until he was about two and a half so maybe he was making up for lost time. But he used to ask me about stuff I knew nothing about and was never satisfied with the answer I gave.
Examples:
-Why is it snowing?
-Because the clouds are too full.
-Why?
-I don't know. They just are.
-But why?
-Don't know. (And in my head I'm thinking do I look like a damn meteorologist?)
 
-Why is that dog barking?
-Maybe it likes to bark.
-Why?
-Maybe it thinks it's fun.
-Why?
-I don't know Remy, I don't speak dog.

He used to drive me absolutely crazy with his why questions that I would want to say can you just stop talking, but I never did because I didn't want to be mean. But I thought it a lot. With Jackie I just find myself laughing because she's so cute about it and she never just keeps going on and on like Remy used to.

One of the wonderful things about having more than one child is that you get to figure out what each child is good at and watch them develop those talents.

When Remy was 9 months we started swim lessons and when he was about 18 months we started him in a soccer tots group and we continued both activities on and off over the years. When he became old enough to do both sports without a parent we were excited to see how he would do. He didn't pass swimming level 1 because he didn't want to put his face in the water. He cried during scrimmage at soccer because he would get knocked down and we had to constantly remind him that soccer is a contact sport. We ended up taking a break from sports not wanting to push him to do something he didn't want to do. It's been almost a year of nothing even though he has begged to play soccer since seeing my friend Ella Masar play over the summer. We decided that we would retry swimming first. Bryan assures me that he is doing well, since I stay home with the little kids while he goes, I don't get to see for myself what he needs to work on. What parent wouldn't want their child to be a natural athlete? However, that is not always the case. Both Bryan and I would love for Remy to excel at sports but if I had to pick one thing that Remy is extremely good at right now it would not be sports, but his ability to figure out electronics. Though a lot of people thought we were crazy for getting him an ipod touch for his 6th birthday (he did have a choice, ipod or birthday party) it was a perfect gift for him and now I don't have to fight with him for my phone.

Then there is Jackie. Where do I begin? Three things that describe Jackie: fearless, determined and stubborn (my sister's child through and through). One of the things that can be frustrating about having a younger child is they want to do everything that older child does. For example if Remy jumps off the couch you better believe that Jackie will think she can do it too. The thing with Jackie is it doesn't end with that, she jumps off of everything, climbs on everything and often falls off everything! Remy has a healthy dose of fear and common since it doesn't take a lot for Remy to learn that maybe he shouldn't do something. However, Jackie lacks both, and it doesn't matter how many times she gets hurt she will always get up and do it all over again. Add to that the fact that she doesn't always pay attention to what she's doing it's enough to keep me in a constant state of unease.  Anyway back to the topic of sports. Let me just say that when it comes to swimming I'm taking all my eggs out of Remy's basket and putting them in hers. Last summer while we were visiting my in-laws in Long Island Jackie fell in the pool. Let me just say it was a scary experience. When she was pulled out of the water she didn't cry, cough, or even appear scared. So, anyway we have finally gotten around to signing her up for swim lessons and so far she has been amazing in the water! I'm looking forward to trying out other sports and seeing what else she's good at.

I'm curious to see what Zane and Zander will be good at as they get older. I'm also a little scared of what they will try following behind Jackie, but looking forward to it all the same.