Going from 2 to 4

I've been writing this blog in my head for a week now, and I've finally gotten the chance to blog it.

When I found out that I was expecting twins I was extremely scared about taking on two babies on top of a toddler and a 5 year old. I tried to prepare myself as much as possible by talking to people with twins, doing internet searches of tips to raising twins, and looking up Youtube videos of how to breastfeed twins (yes, they do exist). I got a lot of different advice from a lot of different people. Some parents advised that I not attempt to breastfeed because it would be too demanding, some said that organization was key, having a schedule was a must. Some people said that I probably would not be able to return to work, or that I really need to look into having a sitter.

The thing is, is that everyone has an opinion and though I never bashed the advice given, whether asked for or not, I already had a game plan. I was definitely going to breastfeed both boys exclusively for the first 12 months, there was no way I was not returning to work (especially since I only work part time and though I love my family I still need a break). Sure I would love to find someone to watch my kids every once in awhile, it's not a priority since we really don't have money to go out anyway and when we do we'd rather go as a family. The schedule thing I'm pretty good at, but I still nurse on demand for the most part. The one thing I am not good at, and probably never will be is organization. I try to stay on top of things but that never lasts too long but I don't have a conniption about it.

One of the best bits of advice that I got was that sometimes someone or everyone will be crying and that that's ok. I've been on my own only a few times with either 3 or 4 kids and I've been amazed that everything went smoothly. Sure there were tears, tantrums and disappointments, but at the end of the day everyone's needs were met. I can say that I'm proud of myself for not pulling my hair out with all the chaos that happens and for keeping my cool. I would have to say that I've worked very hard at letting go of certain things in exchange for others and at doing the best I can with what I have. Yes, I still cry when I'm overwhelmed, and I get snippy when I'm tired, but I take my 5 minutes then count my blessings, pull myself together and keep on going. Sure having 4 kids requires a little more juggling than two, but it's not as difficult as I was expecting it to be.

Of course, like I said earlier I've only been alone with the kids a few times thanks to all the help of friends and family, so I may change my mind... I'll let you know if that happens. Either way I take it one day at a time.