My new love/hate relationship with skype

My baby, Jackie, has been away for about 3 weeks now. It has been a very hectic 3 weeks for me with organizing, cleaning and temporary bed rest, that I am very grateful my in-laws were able to take her with them. I talk to them on a regular basis to get up dates on how she's doing, and they always assure me that she is doing fine. They post pictures on facebook and send videos through email. All of these things are great for me, and help to reinforce that I made the right decision (for her and the little babies in my belly).

The other night we all finally got a chance to go on skype and do a video chat. This is such a great way to see friends and family that we are separated from, and I love being able to have access to such a useful site. Anyway, the session started out a little rocky because Remy who loves to see himself on camera and was blocking the screen from Bryan and I, got upset when we asked him to sit back, then ran to his room crying
(we can be such mean parents.) On the other end was Jackie who didn't really care much about seeing us on the screen, but wanted to do her own thing. She was so happy playing with sunglasses, jumping on the bed, playing with the dog, and getting her way in in everything that she didn't pay any attention to the video chat. Here's the thing, yes it's good to know that she is happy at Grandma's and Grandpa's, but seeing it right before my eyes, stung a little. I ask myself all the time if she will remember me, or does she miss me? To me she is still so little and so impressionable, and 10 weeks total is a very long time to be away, that I start wondering if I made the right decision. I'll say to myself, how good of a mother am I if I can't even take care of my own child?

It's one thing for her to not talk to me on the phone, she is only 20 mo., but it feels completely different when she doesn't want to interact with me on video. Now, I hate skype because I was able to see how well Jackie was doing and her disinterest in seeing us on video further confirmed her adjustment to being away from home. I have 8 weeks left in this pregnancy, and the likely-hood of me going the full 8 weeks is not that high, so you better believe I am counting down. I'm ready for this pregnancy to be over, but more than anything I'm ready for Jackie to come home.